#myhusbandisbetterthan yours - A Response

Recently, I read an article a friend of mine posted on Facebook, entitled '#myhusbandisbetterthanyours.' For those of you that have not seen this post and are interested in reading it, here is the link:

http://kelseykellerweller.blogspot.com/2013/11/myhusbandisbetterthanyours.html

I'm not a big blog reader and rarely take the time to read through many posts, but for some reason this one caught my attention. It has been a couple of weeks since I read it, but it has been like an itch I can't scratch. I understand that everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, but I strongly disagree with this particular blogger's views and decided to share my own.

After a lot of thought, I have narrowed down my irritation to three main points:

1. The author of the blog claimed that putting your spouse's acts of love on display is degrading to other's relationship. She states,

"Putting everything out there, perfectly rehearsed, can be hurtful to the couple who may have just had a fight, are struggling financially or are in any other kind of a rut."

For those of you that know me well, you know that I am not big on lovey-dovey Facebook or blog posts; so understand that this is not coming from me being defensive of my actions....I just very strongly disagree with this view.

Everyone is different, so I am sure that there are many people that will agree with the original author, and that is fine. However, for ME, when I have a friend post something sweet or caring that her husband did for her, it makes me happy. If I am having a crummy day, sometimes I will check Facebook specifically hoping that someone has posted a happy status or a cute photo of their spouse and/or family...because it never fails to cheer me up. I love my friends and very few things make me happier than seeing them happy.

That being said, I do not find it in the least degrading to my relationship with my husband if someone else is happy with theirs. I can't imagine letting something so wholly unconnected to the relationship I share with Luke affect us in any way. I can't relate to that, and I do not pretend to understand it.

"When you're saying your husband is the best, someone might actually believe it, and that might bruise their heart."

I think this line upset me more than anything else written in the entire post. If someone believes that my husband is better than hers, she should not be married. Seriously. If you are not completely, 100% convinced that your husband is the best, he deserves to be with someone who does. I'm not saying that there aren't things that my friend's spouses do that I wish mine did....Everyone has those things. I am simply saying that everyone deserves to be with someone that puts them above everyone else.


2. The next point I disagree with was the author's statement that putting her spouse's acts of love on display was degrading to their love. She doesn't elaborate on this sentence, so I can't know where she was coming from on this one. I, however, think this is ridiculous. Again, I am not one for posting lovey-dovey things all the time, but I see nothing wrong with publicly acknowledging a spouse when he/she does something sweet....or just because you love them. Yes, there are some people that are completely overkill with publicly acknowledging every little thing their spouses do. Yes, there are a couple of my Facebook friends whose posts I have decided to 'hide' because they're much too cheesy for me, but I do not think these friends are degrading their spouse by constantly praising them on Facebook. Annoying? Yes. Degrading? I don't think so.


3. My last main annoyance with this post is the fact that she uses the idea that, 'Marriage is not a competition' as one of her main reasons why people should not post their spouse's acts of love. Marriage is NOT a competition, that is absolutely true. If someone is posting things about their spouse to try to compete with their friends for 'Best Spouse' award, there is something wrong with their brain. As for me and my friends, we post about these things because they make us happy and we want to share that happiness with our friends and family.


It's so common to see negative posts about a spouse forgetting a special day, not helping with the laundry, spending too much time with friends, being loud while watching the football game, etc. With so much emphasis on the negative things in life, positive posts are such a nice thing to encounter. I can't imagine how/why anyone would try to take such nice, positive, uplifting posts and try to turn them around and make them ugly and degrading.

I am not a perfect wife. I never will be and I do not claim to be. However, I do love my husband. Do I think my husband is better than others? Yes. Of course I do! It's insane to think otherwise. If I didn't think my husband was the best, I would not be with him. Do I think that my friends are trying to compete with me because they also think their husbands are best? No. Not even a little. I am lucky to be with a man that is better than all others (in my eyes) and I am happy for every single one of my friends that are with men better than all others (in their eyes). The thought of, 'I can't show my love for my husband because it might hurt others,' is a very dangerous thought. If you love your spouse and want everyone else to know about this sweet thing or that nice act of kindness you caught them doing, then share it! Lifting your spouse up and acknowledging him/her for doing something you are proud of is NEVER something you should be embarrassed to do.

My husband isn't perfect.

I still think he's the best person I know.

 I'm proud to say that I think my husband is better than yours ;)